Selfish
by Lucky Sins
Summary: Roxas has always been there for his brother Sora. Sora betrays him and he's still there for him. Pairings: RoxasRiku but mostly RikuSora


**Author's Note:**

First Kingdom Hearts story that I actually completed.

It's only a short one-shot.

**Disclaimer:**

If I was making money from it I wouldn't be posting it on fanfictionfor everyone to read for free.

**Warning:**

Mature content.

Boy on boy action.

Don't like don't read.

* * *

'He always cared,' Was the thought continuously going through my head that night before I took my own life. 'He _always_ cared, no _matter_ what.'

Every time it had passed through my mind until that night it had _sickened_ me. How could someone care _so_ much?

* * *

I remember back in high school, he had met the love of his life and started dating him. Riku, how could I forget that name? No matter whose mouth it came out of it sounded like a beautiful song.

Roxas and Riku were so happy together. One day Roxas had invited me to come with him to Riku's house to 'hang out'. We went swimming. Ah how we enjoyed the water. We spent hours playing, splashing, dunking, and diving.

When we finally got out we laid in the sun and drank iced tea. Personally I preferred lemonade but this would do. I couldn't help but notice though how Riku kept brushing against me in the pool and how close he was laying next to me now. Roxas was on the other side of him of course, but it was still awkward. Maybe he was just a touchy feely type of guy.

Riku began to pout when the iced tea was gone. It was kind of cute even though it didn't suit him. Roxas finally complied and went inside to make more. Go figure I didn't like it; it was made with a powder mix. I prefer everything fresh.

As soon as Roxas was out of sight Riku turned to me and kissed my lips. Being both shocked and in enjoyment of the feeling I didn't pull away, and when I finally did I heard the door slam shut.

I looked at Riku looking for an answer, or anything. I knew Roxas had slammed the door. I _knew_ he had seen us, but I didn't know what to do. Finding nothing from Riku I kissed him again.

A simple kiss grew more heated and _intense_. At this point Roxas was no where to be found in my thoughts. Some how Riku had managed to snake a hand in between my legs and was rubbing and caressing my thigh. His other hand was running through my hair.

If you happened to be wondering where my hands where at this point you would find that one was on the back of his neck and the other was caressing his ass. It was _perfect_.

I parted my lips wanting him to come in, I wanted to _taste_ him. He complied when he finally got the hint. He tasted like so much more than just iced tea. It was _indescribable_.

He grinned against my lips when I moaned, and by the way he was making me do it again and again, I _knew_ he loved it.

My hands had slowly made their way onto his chest and down his firm torso. When they reached the hem of his bathing suit there was no pause. I slid the thin pair of shorts off as slowly as I had made my way down his upper body.

It was his turn to moan when new flesh was released from its heated prison. He pressed his length against my clothed one and groaned/moaned in disappointment/enjoyment. Only parting our lips to breathe a few times I removed my own swimming trunks as well. His hand snaked down once again and starting rubbing my length as he rubbed his against it also. The contact was _amazing_.

I arched my back and moaned against every pump. I could feel him watching me before he attacked my neck. Did he like what he saw? At the time I didn't care because lips felt like they were _supposed_ to be attached to my neck. And his tongue was _supposed_ to slide across the skin _perfectly _after he bit it.

My head was _supposed _to toss itself back _perfectly_ to allow him more access. My fingers were _supposed_ to run through his hair with nothing stopping them. His ass was _supposed_ to feel this soft beneath my touch. Everything was _perfect_ at this moment.

It was going to happen soon. My toes curled and my muscles tightened. I arched my back further than normal and I knew it was happening. I was coming. I was screaming his name.

He was quickening his pace. He was panting and moaning. And soon I felt hot wetness cover my stomach again and soon after I felt his weight on top of me.

I smiled as my fingers still ran through his silver silk as his head lay on my heaving chest.

* * *

I wasn't sure if I was proud of what I had done but I ended up staying the night and we were dating the next day. I didn't develop feelings for him until later in out relationship though.

Roxas had said nothing about it. I had learned later that he had just left after he seen Riku's lips on mine.

You would think how could someone do that to their own brother? Well it's not as hard as it seems.

When the school year started we were the talk of it. 'Riku and Sora, the hottest couple,' we were, there was no denying that.

Roxas showed no emotion towards the relationship at all, and people have seemed to forgot about the thing he had with Riku only last year.

Riku and I had lasted only a couple of months. We could have lasted longer if he didn't cheat on me with Marluxia, my cousin.

Good thing I didn't look nearly as bad as him. It seems when everyone had found out the news they had remembered about him and Roxas. Now everyone considers him the family whore. I half-heartedly agreed.

But when I had walked in on him I was devastated. I stared at him looking for an explanation, anything. I found nothing. All he did was mouth the words 'I'm sorry' before going back to sucking Marluxia off.

I ran home to Roxas crying my eyes out.

'He _always_ cared, no _matter_ what.'

* * *

He was my crying shoulder. I had my face buried in it. One hand was rubbing my back while the other was going through my hair. All he kept saying was. 'It's going to be alright, it's going to be alright.'

He didn't cringe or anything when I told him the story. And when I pulled away to look at him he didn't show any sign of happiness.

It was sickening. 'How could he care _so_ much?'

I ran off to my room to cry alone. I couldn't _stand_ him.

* * *

I finally stopped crying enough to think, to just _think_. And I finally realized it, I never loved Riku. It was lust. I was just devastated at the loss of touching, feeling… sex!

And then it hit me. I felt guilty! I felt guilty for never being there for Roxas when he was there for me! All the time no matter what!

His boyfriend cheated on him right in front of him with his own brother. What did he do? He comforted me when his ex-boyfriend cheated on me even though I'm the reason they're not together.

He didn't do any I-told-you-so-ing he didn't point and laugh at me and he didn't tell me I deserved it.

I was so fucking thoughtless to his feelings. He never showed me how he felt. So I used mine as an example to imagine how he must have felt.

'What the fuck is wrong with me?'

I grabbed a knife I kept in my nightstand, to be safe.

'He _always_ cared, no _matter_ what.'

And with that my entire _life_, my _existence_, was just a memory.

* * *

**Author's Note**:

Yes it is tragic and there may be a few errors.

Tell me if you liked it and criticize me for mistakes.

Let me know what you think!

Do all this by reviewing or sending me a PM.

I will respond most likely happily.


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